[dropcap size=big]F[/dropcap]or a teenage industry plant, this isn’t terrible. At fifteen years of age meme-turned-rapper Danielle Bregoli has shot to stardom. Following her viral tagline she took her talents to the City of Angels. To me, it’s obvious. While she has legitimate fans, Bhad Bhabie is a marketing ploy. According to the closing track here, talent scouts flew her out west. People insisted on heckling her in the streets of Florida. Despite her instigator persona everyone has a right to privacy. Atlantic Records saw something in her. Though that something has nothing to do with talent. Nowadays record companies are greedier than ever. Instead of “wasting” time scouting artists who make great music, they chase clout. If you have 500,000 followers, you’re more valuable to them than the next legendary artist. 500K people guarantee views of their promotions. Ain’t no money like guaranteed money.
Due to this approach record companies dilute the quality of mainstream music. They have access to the most music distribution and promotion. Therefore the artists they want to highlight are the ones who receive the most attention. Bhad Bhabie fits that bill. Even though I know they’re manipulating her image I find her entertaining at times. She has good energy on the mic. And the singles written for her ain’t half bad. When teamed with another competent artist she holds her own for the most part. Nevertheless, for an entire project it’s difficult to stay interested. Nearly every song here is exactly the same. Bregoli brags about what she has now and how other girls hate. “Famous” and “Bhad Bhabie Story” are the only exceptions. On “Famous” she describes the aforementioned heckling scenario. It’s a nice change of pace however brief it may be. This tape is too predictable nonetheless.
Yet what would you expect a rich teenager to rap about? Relatively speaking, she hasn’t experienced that much. I didn’t know anything at fifteen years old. Being thrust into fame at a young age has dangerous consequences. Bregoli seems to handle it just fine for now. Going forward, however, she will need to address her struggles lyrically. Otherwise she will be just another forgotten phase rapper. There are too many of those as it is. Although my expectations are low for a kid, this tape fails to entertain for 39 minutes. I appreciate the cohesion between this project’s title, Bhad Bhabie’s age and the number of tracks here. But the redundant bars and deliveries stifle 15 from making a genuine splash. This should’ve been nine tracks at the most. I would keep all the collabs except for “Affiliated,” though her and Asian Doll toured together. So, she would never comply.
In small doses, this tape bangs. The intro goes hard. It sets the tone well. Additionally, the YG-assisted “Juice” made me think I was going to love this mixtape. Trap bangers clone themselves over and over until they lose traction completely. The industry plant pop song “No More Love” is an atrocity. Atlantic’s attempt to take her into the pop stratosphere is sickening. Just let her rap and leave it at that. Because crooning is not her forte, nor does it add to her artistry. It simply leaves a pungent sonic stain. Conversely, my favorite track here is “Bhad Bhabie & $hirak Count It.” It never tries to do too much. This tape isn’t for those looking for substance or even sticky songwriting. Simple, underwritten hooks leave this project with a stale taste. Hopefully her ghostwriters write a legit hit for her next time around. Until then, I’ll cash y’all later.
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